Parenting Priorities

It was July 2000 and I was returning from Europe after having completed my master’s degree culmination trip when I wrote this.

Two years of my life. Like smoke, there and then gone. As I left the hotel today I was unsure how I felt. Or rather I felt so many things, I wasn’t sure what I felt. Anger, because most of the last few days had been such a waste of precious time. Relieved , that this two year long journey was finally over with and I could get on with my life. Sad, that it was over with and the friends that I would miss. Proud, of what I had accomplished. Grateful, for the friends I had made. Happy, that the job was complete. Satisfaction, that I had done the best I could. Apprehensive, about what the future would hold.

I had settled into my seat and was having diner when I noticed that we were about to go over Greenland. I got up and went to the open area by the emergency exit and looked out the window. 39,000 feet below I could see water. As we approached the continent I began to see icebergs, tiny white shapes against a cobalt blue background that stretched to the horizon. They appeared so small from where I looked. We came upon the coastline. Stark, rugged mountains cut by pure white glaciers flowing down to the ocean. It was magnificent, unspoiled wilderness. Not a sign of human impact hundreds of miles in any direction. A picture unchanged for tens of thousands of years. My thoughts drifted to how small and insignificant I was. “What impact could I possibly have on this world?”

“Please return to your seat.” a flight attendant curtly asked, jarring me from my thoughts. I was blocking the area that she needed to park a service cart in. No problem, she was just doing what she had to do. While I was taking in the view she had probably flown over this same scene a hundred times before. How sad I thought. She has seen it, but has she really ever stopped to look? And then, in that instant, I thought of my son and how I had just spent the last two years. How many times had I said, “Not now, I’m too busy”? And in that instant I realized that I had just missed almost half of his life.

What impact could I possibly have on this world?

That’s when I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek, it was time to go home.

Copyright 2000 Mark Kaiser